The Teen Interpreter

Starred review from March 7, 2022
Psychologist Apter (Passing Judgment) brings some needed clarity to the oft-baffling teenage years in this eye-opening parenting guide. As she writes, teenagers “want to feel understood,” and to that end she explores the rocky terrain of adolescence, debunking the myth of “teen as alien” and making a strong case for the importance of listening to and engaging with one’s kid. Apter covers such topics as “the teenage brain” (which “barely registers small familiar pleasures. It requires novelty and excitement”), romance (which offers “both mystery and self-discovery”), and the end of teen years (21-year-olds are still adolescents, in terms of brain development), and offers concise advice: conversations with teens require a “watch-and-wait approach” and a willingness to back away when they’re “too anxious to talk, or need time to organize thoughts in private.” And there are plenty of concrete steps for parents to take­­—one can blunt negative aspects of social media by encouraging teens to follow positive accounts, and allowing children the ability to tell their stories can help them “put painful experiences into a broad context.” Apter’s reassuring tone and ability to cut through the chaos give her advice weight. This is a must-read for parents navigating their children’s tumultuous teenage years.